My Date: First Timer

By Tap Mak

“Yes I will do that parson. I do not aim to take much of her time, seeing that she will be coming from work so I will try to take her home early.

“I really wanted to do that on a weekend, but it’s been 3 months now without having a free weekend. So, I believe by grace, God’s grace this is the only time I can make.

“Yes, I spoke to the father and he said, I should make sure she is home by 8pm. Yes, yes.

“Well, since I do not have one, I hired one from PRIME CAR RENTAL. Yes, that one yes.

“Yes they are doing fine, its Blessing naVictor Mahembe and team, they are doing a fine job, like I know for now I won’t have to worry about transport. Just solicit your prayers for travelling. Thank you so much Parson, I will update you. God bless you.”

With that I hung off, and it was time to go and pick her.
I was convinced that I was ready and prayed up. Well, at least I believed I was, but within my loins were not steady.

There was a bit grumbling within, so I made a point that I’m not going to eat anything till we ordered. Yes, we. Plus with all these unsteady nerves, I didn’t want other disturbances.

“Oh, she just texted me, I mean ‘apped’ me. So I’m off to pick her”.

Man, I wish I could describe her to you, but you know, at least for now I’m too taken aback. But she’s just what I believe will make a good home for me and my future.

There she is, as natural as she can be. Ohk, my face should be red. In the mirror its fine, I didn’t apply my faithful Vaseline Blue Seal today, lest I be as shiny as an angel.

I just want my words to be shinning. I received some tips from my man. Also got counselled, cause she is a daughter of a King.

I tell you on this one I am not banking on fame, looks or nothing. In fact I am at my most vulnerable, because I have to open up to someone, like for real, yah for real not like, like you know.

Ok, I’m out let me meet her. But give me a tip. Which is best, “Shalom sister” , or “Hie [name supplied]”. Oh, you slow.

“Shalom sister,” I quipped.
Shalom, munhu waMwari [Man of God]”, was the reply.
“How was your day at work. Ndimi manga munaye Pharaoh ”, said, trying to ease my nerves.

“Hahahaha Pharaoh anga ari right, ah hahaha that’s a first”, she said with a very light laughter, maybe you could call it a chuckle, but to me it was a relief, caused a, well yah, a smile was on her face. I mean if you were here you could say it wasn’t, but she smiled, that is what I saw.

“Shall we”, I said whilst opening the passenger side door for her. Please do not laugh at my efforts of being a gentleman. She gracefully entered, and I closed it, not like ‘Samson’, it closed with a click, you know, not a bang.

I deliberately used the rear, and when I looked at my reflection on the car, my heart sank. The tie was not on the centre. “Well, she might consider it a sign for vacancy, like you know, that for real I have no one to tell me that the tie is amiss.”

We drove off to the Northern leafy suburbs; I had made a reservation with a nice restaurant. They had promised me an ideal quiet setting, without many curious eyes.

On our way we chatted less, I don’t know what was going through my mind. Seated next to me was a young precious woman I had plans and thoughts of building my future with.

I was more than convinced that she was the one. I didn’t dream because I have had many dreams that left me confused than satisfied. It was neither a prophecy, nor a supernatural occurrence, but just mere conviction.

We talked about the day and music, at least her being a singer and me helping singers, it was a subject we both had interests. We obviously didn’t like the same genres, but we agreed that Hannah Mapepeta is a great singer.

“I was convinced that chikepe hachinyure Jesu arimo [The boat won’t sink when Jesus is in it]”.

We arrived at The Place, and got to talk. This was the moment we, maybe, I have been looking forward too. So great was my expectations that the waiter waited a minute beside me, without me noticing him.

We ordered, and she went for something light. I took that as a sign that she was nervous too. That levelled the playing field, at list the nervous game.

Deboned bream in lemon was good for me. We continued on the music, and all the while I was looking for an entry point, which came in a way I didn’t expect.

I mean I had planned to be blunt, but we were just enjoying each other’s company that we took about 30minutes without referring to the reason we were both there.

I took the initiative, when I was relating how I learnt the tune of a certain song by listening to the prophet sing it.

Yes, “Speak My Lord’ I learnt it from the prophet after listening to INFLUENCE.

Then we discussed on how the prophet sang, and it brought us to one picture, were him and his wife will be holding guitars.


I then remarked.

“I stand as the prophet, holding my guitar, but I do not have someone by my side. Would you want to join me to complete the picture.”

I look into those eyes. Those rich dark eyes..

Like a tiny whisper, I hear the words…


The light of the eyes rejoiceth the heart: and a good report maketh the bones fat.

Where have I heard those words from??

Ohhhh I remember!! I read that scripture this morning before I left for work!
And here it is, these sparkling black eyes staring at me in wonder and amazement. LIGHT!!

And to think that I didn’t think much of that scripture this morning!

I look deep into them and instantly I am sucked in like into a giant blackhole..

Ohhhh God!! What a woman! Did you really let her be born like I was or was she spoken into existence?

I am lost, deeper and deeper I am sucked in. I am in a universe of seemingly dreams and reality amalgamated into a gravitational field of zero Newtons. Maybe this is what Albert Einstein experienced when he formulated the theory of relativity.. I AM IN LOVE!!!!

“Weeeeeeeell,” her cherry sweet voice cuts in.

I snap back to reality. My cellphone which I had been fiddling with under the table is missing from my hands. Two giant glasses of Malawi Shandy are sizzling in front of us and beautiful Onyi… (pardon me) is looking at me with much more amusement than the admiration I saw just a minute ago.

“You dropped your phone,” she softly chuckles looking to the left of the table, her right. I follow gaze and my heart sinks. The screen of my phone is cracked.

“I am so sorry,” she chirps in her voice heavy with concern.

“Ohh it’s okay, it’s just the shatter glass,” I say as I clumsily get up from my chair to retrieve my fallen phone and as well as pride.

Yes I am right, it’s just the shatter glass but that’s nothing, I might have shattered more than just a screen this past minute, I might have shattered a beautiful future glassy like the Milky Way reflection in a still pond at night.

I gingerly sit back in my chair and stare hard at the white cloth before me. I feel so humiliated. I wish I didn’t choose this day to talk to her.

She pulls one glass closer to her and I look up just as those beautiful lips wrap around the straw like a rose bud about the stigma.

My hands are trembling, I restrain myself from doing the same lest I drop the glass and then definitely leave this place with more than just a wounded pride..

She is still looking at me. I can’t look back.

“Tapiwa…,” she drawls

My heart melts. Oh Lord!! Kill me! Cause she’s killing me softly.

I feel like screaming and rushing out of the restaurant. Instead I keep calm and look into her face.

“I really appreciate your proposition..”

My heart is pounding like a sledgehammer. It’s so loud I fear that she will hear it..


My foot is shaking violently, it last did that when I was given 20 lashes by Mr Atkinson with his elephant leather belt after his rod of choice went missing before my impending punishment for not completing a crucial assignment. It was later found in my locker to more whipping and up till this day I don’t know who did that. I was in form 2 then and was too tongue-tied and to explain as I am now. The only difference is that today, I am in love.

“I believe it is not to the best..”

She is really taking her time and its killing me. I am out of stories to comfort myself with now and will have to watch as she mercilessly rips my heart apart..

My world stops. What?

She looks deep into my eyes, time freezes…

“Are you taking me home…?”



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